Wow, am I really becoming an empty nester? My son just left for the first day of his senior year of high school. He’s the youngest in our family. I’m sitting on the porch with my coffee, watching the sun come up and reflecting on how fast the last 24 years have gone.
I know becoming an empty nester isn’t a new experience. Women have been doing this forever, but somehow the devil always makes you feel like you’re the only one who’s going through something like this.
I know other mamas are out there experiencing the same stabbing pains in their hearts so if that’s you, please know you’re not alone!
Holding On Loosely
I’m already feeling this and our youngest is a senior in high school this year. I’m trying to hold on so tightly and also trying to let go too. It’s not a fun season for us Mamas. I don’t even know who I am without all of my kids around me. My life entire schedule has revolved around them & their activities. I guess that’s on me though, I allowed myself to get lost a little in the process of raising them. Right or wrong, that’s how I wanted it at the time. I was all in!
I Don’t Think I Want To Be An Empty Nester!
The first morning I woke up after all my older kids had been moved in (3 different states) I had a little panic moment…”What? Am I just supposed to march on into my week like nothing happened? My heart is literally spread out all over the country & I’m struggling to breathe a little!”
On the other hand it’s such an exciting time for our kids! They are spreading their wings, learning to get out there, take care of their responsibilities and live! It’s everything we’ve been training them for all along. We know they’re ready for this chapter. It just feels a little weird that they don’t need us like they once did. And let’s face it when you’ve been in the groove of motherhood all these years you start to get pretty good at it. Then all the sudden, it’s time to cut the cord, yikes!
Some Like It That Their Nest Is Empty
I have some friends who can’t wait for this empty nester chapter of life. They are completely ready to drop that last child off for freshman year of college and dance into the days ahead with sweet relief.
I’m not saying this group love their children any less but maybe they have actually held a healthier perspective. They recognize that they have completed their child raising chapter and are ready for new adventures in the empty nest. It reminds me of when Pittsburgh Steelers head coach, Chuck Knoll used to tell his players, “It’s time to get on with your life’s work!”
This (almost) empty nester chapter has me thinking, “I don’t even know if I have any hobbies or interests” because frankly, who had time for that? Ha! I’m not sure I even know what my life’s work is!
It’s Time To Lean Into Being An Empty Nester
I do find myself leaning in more now. Leaning into my beautiful relationship with Jesus. He’s the only one who can truly comfort and satisfy our souls no matter what chapter of life we’re in. No matter how lost we might feel in the empty nest, God still has a plan for our lives. He isn’t finished with us yet!
Jeremiah 29:11 is clear, “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”
The children he gave us were never really ours. They were His all along but we had the wonderful privilege of stewarding them for a season. We were graced for that season and we’ll be graced for this one too. Same Savior!
As for moving forward, I keep hearing women who have walked before us say that it takes time to adjust to the new empty nester or “quiet house” chapter. Little by little we will settle in and find the joys & rest of this chapter too.
And we’re going to need it because soon our homes will be filled with new “children” (our in-law kids) and lots of grandchildren running around and turning our lives upside down again! Beautiful chaos! The nest will be empty no more! We have MUCH to look forward to friends, even now!